As we know, young children notice differences, and often comment on them at inopportune moments, children do not independently form negative associations about them. Our little ones are innocent and say what they feel. However, it becomes the responsibility of parents and educators to serve as role models. We need to provide opportunities for open communication in a safe atmosphere. As adults, we sometimes react in an embarrassed or possibly negative way when children make these comments about others.
I remember when my little girl was around three or four years old. There is a war veteran in our community that lost both of his legs and is in a wheelchair. He is very social and can usually be found at the local mall visiting with people. One evening, my family was leaving a restaurant. This gentlemen was visiting with someone in the lobby. Very sweetly and innocently, my daughter announced to everyone that there was a man with no legs in a chair with wheels. My initial internal feeling was embarrassment. I remember whispering to her not to say anything, just say hello. In her world, she was just making an observation. Looking back, I wish I had taken the opportunity at that moment for us to visit with the gentlemen. He would have loved to speak with her. I later explained his situation with her. Now when she sees him they visit. He loves giving her little poppy flowers in honor of veterans. Like their simple questions, these incidents are teachable moments for anti-bias education (Derman-Sparks & Edwards, 2010). In addition, I have learned to explain physical disabilities to her. Her grandfather lost one of his legs to diabetes. She is so sweet and caring of others, she always has been. I am grateful that I finally understood the importance of communicating with her. Almost everything adults say or do around children carries messages about gender, economic class, racial identity, ability, and family culture (Derman-Sparks & Edwards).
Reference
Derman-Sparks,
L., & Olsen Edwards, J. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and
ourselves. Washington,
DC: NAEYC.