Conflict Resolution
Learning about conflict resolution has been very
helpful to me. I can see the benefits as
an educator working with students, families, and colleagues. However, I realize how essential these
strategies would have been for my family six years ago. My daughter was only two years old and we
were going through a difficult divorce process.
My ex-husband and I were on good terms and had communicated our wishes
with each other about visitation, child support, and hopes for our little girl. Unfortunately, his parents decided to
intervene and ask for their own “grandparent rights” and he did have
self-esteem and strength to go against them.
This was an unwarranted request; however, it had to be negotiated
through the court system. Their decision
completely changed the dynamic of the relationships and communication
completely broke down. Protecting my
child, along with hurt and anger became the central issue. We were unable to step back and evaluate both
sides; we were unable to identify and express our feelings that did not imply
judgment, criticism, or blame/punishment; we were unable to connect and relate
our own feelings and needs; and requests for resolutions were not heard –
everything resulted in making demands (NVC, n.d.). The extreme level of emotions and lack of
positive communication did not lend itself to being respectful, reciprocal, or
responsive to each other. It becomes very difficult to communicate with someone
appropriately when a negative third-party interferes with the process. I have no doubt that our divorce process and
following years would have been a much smoother transition had we been able to
use the above strategies. It has taken a
long time to rebuild a relationship of respectful, positive communication.
In conclusion, my
daughter finally gets to experience having parents that get along and
communicate positively with each other.
We are doing so much better that my daughter does not know why we ever
divorced. I am glad she does not
remember the hurt and arguments and she can see positive communication and
conflict resolution strategies. As an
educator, I will also use these strategies with my students along with my
daughter and her friends. I will
definitely take more time to see both sides and work towards positive, fair
results.
References
The
Center for Nonviolent Communication (n.d.).
The center for nonviolent communication.
Retrieved from http://www.cnvc.org/
